Sex Versus Intimacy

People these days have a very narrow concept of what is sex. Sex has a way wider meaning than just intercourse or penetrative sex.

Sex includes everything which seems even remotely sexual or intimate. For example, foreplay, hugging, kissing, or even cuddling is a part of sex.

People have different notions about the meaning of sex. It differs for people depending on their sexuality.

Whether you are gay, lesbian, pansexual, or heterosexual, sex will have a different definition for you accordingly. On the other hand, intimacy is a very subjective concept. It is about how comfortable, open, and compatible you are with your partner.

Generally, it is a concept that is directed towards people who are involved romantically.

Intimacy is an important aspect of a human being. It is an important part of an individual’s social life.

But you must understand that there is a difference between what intimacy is and what sex is.

People tend to confuse intimacy and sex.

Therefore, this blog will give you a detailed study about sex, intimacy, and their difference.

Let’s start with a comprehensive study about sex and its types.

 

What Is Sex And What Are The Different Types Of Sex?

As said earlier, the definition of sex differs for different people.

It depends on what environment you are brought up in, your faith, your beliefs, your orientation, your boldness, etc.

Sex can mean different for women and men too.

Sex actually refers to anything which can even remotely arouse you. Like hugging, kissing, foreplay, stripping, masturbation, or oral sex.

But conventionally, sex refers to penetrative sex.

Therefore, considering that as the definition of sex, sex can be of the following types.

 

  • Vaginal sex

This refers to the conventional meaning of sex. This type of sex is when a man penetrates his penis into the vagina of a woman.

This is the hetero way of having sex or the straight way of having sex.

This is the most general way of having sex as most people out there are straight.

 

  • Oral sex

This refers to the act of either licking or swallowing your partner’s pleasure organs. It is not specific to any particular sexual orientation.

People can be straight or gay or bisexual to use this way of sexual pleasure. It can be practiced b anyone irrespective of their interest.

 

  • Anal sex

Anal sex refers to penetration in the anus. This is illegal in India. It is majorly practiced by gay men.

However, some women prefer it that way too. Anal sex is prone to many diseases and infections.

Hence, even though it is satisfying it is not safe to practice it.

 

  • Mutual Masturbation

It is the safest way among all other sexual activities.

It can go two ways…

  1. Firstly, both the partners masturbate themselves individually, watching each other.
  2. Secondly, you masturbate each other.

This is the safest way because it reduces the chances of pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and infections.

There are other things too which come under types f sex, like fingering, hand jobs, dry humping or genital touching and foreplay.

However, above all, you must understand that it is an act of love or passion. It must be consensual, meaning both parties must agree to it.

Even if one party does not agree it is referred to as rape.

Let us now discuss precisely intimacy.

 

Types Of Intimacy

Intimacy refers to any close relationship with someone.

When two people are comfortable and open around each other, comfortable enough to be the true self they are said to be intimate.

Intimacy unlike sex is very subjective.

It is what you feel rather than what you do. In some relationships, this feeling of intimacy can be so intense that they just enjoy being with each other and sex is not a big deal for them.

Intimacy need not be physical. There are many types of intimacy and all are equally important to sustain a relationship.

The types of intimacy include physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, spiritual intimacy, intellectual intimacy, experiential intimacy, conflict intimacy, and sexual intimacy.

We will discuss physical intimacy and its steps in a little comprehensive manner.

 

Physical Intimacy

Physical intimacy is important when it comes to figuring out where your relationship is going.

It’s like earlier steps couples take before they consummate their relationship.

It refers to a touch or eye contact or things that can develop your relationship slowly.

There are different stages involved when it comes to intimacy.

The levels of physical intimacy are:

 

Eye to the body

This is when you show your interest in a person by looking at their body.

This is the first step or the first hint you give to your partner that you want to be physically involved with that person.

 

Eye to eye

Eye contact can my intimidating and romantic at the same time.

Intense eye contact is a really sensual and romantic gesture to show interest in a person.

 

Voice to voice

As said before intimacy is when you can show your vulnerability to your partner.

Therefore, get over with all you want to say to your partner, all insecurities, all the truth, and all that you wanted to say for a very long time.

 

Hand to hand

Hand holding can be equally intimate.

It might seem very normal but when two people really connect hand-holding can be romantic and sensual at the same time.

 

Arm to shoulder and then waist

This is really common between friends but if you are attracted to someone it can give you chills all over.

 

Mouth to Mouth and then hand to head

This obviously means kissing. If you have reached the stage of kissing it is when you place your hand on their head, which gives a sense of approval and passion.

 

Hand to the body

This can be the first step towards sexual intimacy. You can touch each other and feel each other’s body.

You can move your hands all around your partner’s body.

 

Mouth to the torso

It is when you slowly start removing their clothes and you start kissing their torso region.

These are basically the first steps towards intercourse and it can be termed as foreplay.

These were a few examples of intimacy. Now you might wonder what the most intimate act is.

Well, the most intimate act is what comes after all these, which is sex.

If you are connected with your mind body and soul sex is the most intimate act in your relationship.

But you must not confuse intimacy with love. Two people can reach the stages of intimacy but might not be in love.

The difference between love and intimacy involves the concept of commitment and passion.

Love involves a combination of intimacy, closeness, the passion of being together, and commitment towards your relationship.

 

Difference Between Sex and intimacy

Juxtaposing the two concepts, that is, sex and intimacy we can infer how these two concepts are different from each other.

Sex is simply an act of physicality.

Sex may not really have passionate connotations with it. It may be devoid of any sensations of connection.

Eventually, that is the thing which most individuals desire in their respective relationships, even though it may not be the same for everyone.

Many times sex may be performed only to achieve an orgasm as some people are completely satisfied with that kind of a physical relationship.

On the other hand, intimacy is an inclination of closeness, commonality, or potential companionship. Equivalents for intimacy are connection, affection, warmth, fellowship, and affinity.

Thus, intimacy is characterized by closeness and companionship. It has more emotional connotations as compared to the physical aspects.

Sex without adoration and closeness is an inquiry that exists at the center of any solid relationship.

General intimacy includes knowing somebody profoundly and the capacity to feel totally open, free fair with them.

This is something that is ordinarily just felt or experienced with only one individual, as this nearby closeness is too hard to even consider having with numerous individuals.

Thus sex in a close relationship will in general be the actual epitome of those sentiments.

The ideal hypothesis is that this intimacy is to be a caring association between the two individuals in a relationship.

Thus, both of the aspects in a relationship are consequently interconnected – intimacy assembles sexual enthusiasm, and sexual energy results in intimacy.

Inside a relationship, what is the most intimate act?

Sex, yet there are various events when this act can happen and intimacy is not involved.

It tends to be an act that may happen without assent (assault), an act that is paid for (prostitution), or a straightforward physical exchange (one-night stand). Now any of these may or may not involve intimacy.

Say that we consider the casual sexual encounters that anybody undertakes on following an event of drinking or celebrating with companions.

Any man or woman can appreciate an evening of sex without love or intimacy, generally when there is an actual fascination or fundamental longing for pleasure in sex.

Psychologically speaking, there is usually a mental inquiry of the distinction between these two, and the general intimate and weak demonstration of offering yourself to another in sex, which would associate both sex and intimacy once again.

When the assurance of physical intimacy is made, there then comes the subject of sex or having intercourse.

Regardless of the term utilized, sex is consistently a physical act and should be possible without intimacy.

It is likewise imperative to remember that loving and close couples at times cannot engage in sexual relations or decide not to do as such.

There can be ailments that may forestall sex, making the actual closeness in their relationship something of a milder level.

This does not necessarily kill the energy or fascination they feel for each other.

It additionally does not eliminate other forms of physical intimacy and contact.

Thus, sex and intimacy are two different aspects of a relationship and it is important to understand how they differ and how they correlate.

It is hard to truly get to the lower part of this issue because no two individuals have the very same thoughts on sex.

Now after this you are bound to flood your mind with a few common questions about sex and intimacy.

Let’s discuss a few questions that mind come to your mind frequently.

 

Sex And Intimacy FAQs

 

#1: Is physical intimacy the same as sexual intimacy?

Physical intimacy and sexual intimacy are two different ways through which people like to show love to one another.

Nevertheless, they are two different things.

They are not the same.

All in all what is the distinction between actual closeness or physical intimacy and sexual closeness that is sexual intimacy?

Sex is an actual demonstration people who are romantically involved participate in to fulfill a sexual longing.

Actual closeness, on the other hand, is regularly a marker of a more deep and profound personal connection that can sustain with or without sex.

 

#2: What is considered making love?

When people talk about “incredible sex” they actually refer to the physical act of intercourse.

The only difference between intimacy and sex is the sentimental attachment.

While sex refers to a personal act performed by two individuals who are infatuated towards each other making love refers to actual sentiments that are shared between two people who are passionate and committed to each other.

 

#3: What Creates Intimacy?

Like said before, true intimacy is twofold in nature. It requires physical as well as emotional attachment.

You share your vulnerability as well as you have a level of comfort with your partner when it comes to intimacy.

This openness does not develop with a few encounters. You have to talk, exchange thoughts and communicate.

This communication will be the key to know whether they are worthy of being trusted.

Communication will let you lower your guard down once you think you can trust them and this will take time to build. This intimacy is a two-way street.

Therefore, you have to let the person concerned confide you in, which cannot be anticipated in a hurry.

Therefore, it will take time to develop emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy which helps you grow your relationship.

 

#4: How do you build intimacy?

Not everyone confides in and trusts easily. It’s not just about the time factor but also a connection.

You need to show that you are trustworthy and they can share anything with you.

To build that intimacy you need to be a good listener.

This will prove that you are genuinely interested in what they say.

Maintain constant eye contact and keep nodding your head accordingly, which makes it believable that you are listening to what they are saying.

Appreciate the little thing he does for you and tries to develop an interest in what he or she cherishes.

Try exploring new things together and find what your mutual interests are.

 

#5: What are the examples of intimacy?

It is important to know when your relationship has finally achieved that intimacy level you want.

When in a romantic relationship when actual closeness is achieved you can verify it with the following examples:

  • In an intimate relationship both the parties let their gatekeeper down and want to see each other in their rawest form.
  • Honest conversations are made without hiding anything.
  • Holding hands, cuddling and hugging are few physical examples of intimacy.
  • When you forgive each other and cannot hold grudges against each other for long.

 

The Conclusion | Sex And Intimacy

To sum up, everything, if you crave intimacy in your relationship you need to have sentimental attachment and it should be mutual and not one way.

Communication is the key to a perfect relationship.

If you want more than just intercourse it is the only way you will know whether you will ever get it in your current relationship.

Overall, sex has its own benefits and enjoyment, but intimacy is what every human craves.

It is natural for humans to want love, passion, commitment, and intimacy in a relationship.

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By Harry Devin

Hi Guys, this is Harry Devin, An experienced sexologist from Manchester, UK. I love to share my experience with the people to improve their sexual health and such kinds of issues......Read More Get Me on Social Channels: Facebook | Google+  |  Twitter | Linkedin

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