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Sex? We talk about it, and we talk about it well. Fantasies, taboos and sexual practices are combed. Our blogs allow you to increase the pleasure and to debate hot topics. We are those who speak most freely of sexuality without being the weirdo? Discover them here.
Sex… You’re making it wrong. This is what women are dying to tell their sex partner. Even it has been seen that these mistakes are being done by the most experienced men. We asked so many women to share their not-so-favorable memories of ex-partners in order to help them stay away from all those mistakes.
Why? In his sleep, your man may have nocturnal erections caused by erotic dreams for example. He then needs to end it as soon as possible, even if you wake up!
Is this really a mistake? “Being woken up by her lover in the middle of the night can be very exciting for a woman,”. It’s up to you to see according to your desire of the moment … As long as he does not convince himself that you are at his disposal!
The Solutions: Man can not control his nocturnal erections. On the other hand, you are not obliged to give in to his request. Do not hesitate to oppose a firm and definitive refusal because “these nocturnal erections are mechanical and have no connection with desire”.
Why? Because the man reaches the enjoyment in a few minutes. He can not imagine spending more time on coitus.
Is this really a mistake? Yes! This goes against the physiological needs of the woman. To stimulate her desire, man must multiply caresses, feelings, and compliments. Its sexual mucous membranes do not moisten on average after 10 minutes of attention.
The Solutions: “Educate” your partner by explaining how your body works. You can also offer an erotic textbook or get a vibrating ring. “It helps to prolong erection and pleasure.
Why? When a man does not kiss his partner, the routine is often involved, “Over time, men do not kiss anymore, when the place is won, they no longer seek sensuality”.
Is this really a mistake? Not only. “When lassitude settles, the wrongs are often shared,” says the specialist.
The Solutions: Forget the sexual penetration the time of an evening, only devoted to the search for the desire. An evening dedicated to kisses and mutual caresses that should not lead to the act. “In this way, there is no challenge for the man who knows in advance that he will not make love.”
Why? “Physiologically, male orgasm triggers the release of endorphins, hormones of pleasure and satisfaction, and leads to sleep,”.
Is this really a mistake? Yes, because even if this reaction is scientifically normal, it is not pleasant for you! “The woman is not an object that one leaves aside when one has reached one’s enjoyment.”
The Solutions: “If he is kept awake by a pleasant activity for a moment, the desire to sleep fades with the effect of endorphins,” says the sexologist. You can extend the pleasure by offering a massage while discussing for example.
Why? “There is a gap between the needs of men and women,”. Medically, this shift is related to the production of more testosterone in humans, the desired hormone. For her part, “the woman, less frequently satisfied, would also feel less desire.”
Is this really a mistake? You are not a sexual servant. “It’s up to him to be more satisfactory, not to the woman to force his desire,” says the sexologist.
The solutions: Teach your partner to awaken the desire in you … For example through the eroticization of the clitoris. “It’s about getting a clitoral orgasm while stimulating the vagina to awaken it to pleasure.”
Why? “Even if men know that their companion needs preliminaries, they do it only because it’s a must and to get what they want.
Is this really a mistake? Yes! “Spending 15 minutes is a minimum.” To offer an orgasm to his partner, the man must stimulate it with kisses, tender words, and caresses. “It’s about raising the level of excitement and awakening the sex areas.”
The Solutions: It is necessary to exchange caresses, and redouble originality so that he appreciates this moment as much as you. Train together: slow kisses, sucking off the tongue, not forgetting the caresses of the face, hair, neck…..
Why? “Men under the influence of testosterone (male hormone) can be a little too vigorous,
Is this really a mistake? Yes and no. This craze reflects the intense excitement, a desire difficult to manage, it is actually rather flattering! However, the men must learn to control his actions …
The solutions: Do not be afraid to stop your man in his tracks if he becomes really too abrupt. You can have fun “take his hand to guide his actions on your body,” says the sexologist. “Even if he does not ask, it’s very reassuring for a man to be guided.”
Why? Because for the man, it’s simple. If there is orgasm … the coitus is necessarily satisfactory. He does not see the point of complicating the task by being particularly inventive and surprising.
Is this really a mistake? Yes of course! “Pleasure can not rhyme with habit Routine is a plague that removes all the subtleties of the sexual act.
The solutions: To spice up your relationship a little, offer him to discover new sensations. Suggest, for example, to test the inner caress (between the penis and the vagina). It involves “alternating deep and superficial movements, up and down, alternating rhythms.”
Why? “All men are more or less obsessed with vaginal orgasm,”. “The reason is simple, it is the orgasm the most difficult to give, the most coveted, the one that his penis triggers … He sees it as a kind of heroic conquest!”
Is this really a mistake? Yes and no. If a man puts a great willingness to give a vaginal orgasm to his partner, do not blame him! On the other hand, it is not necessary that this fierce quest makes him forget the rest …
The solutions: Give him the good tricks! Explain to him, for example, how he can send you to clitoral orgasm and advocate preliminaries.
Why? Because “the love union is selfishness and altruism at the same time,”. But for men, it’s much easier to be selfish because, unlike women, they reach ecstasy in a few minutes.
Is this really a mistake? Yes! A man in a hurry squirts quickly and leaves his partner on his hunger. Result: she has less and less desire and can refuse to make love.
The solutions: “Do not hesitate to put your man on the wall and remind him that the act of love is an exchange,” says the sexologist. In addition, he must understand that by adopting a more generous attitude, he could receive much more from you.
Why? Sex and breasts (mainly nipples) are of course very sensitive areas, and men know it! For them, “it’s like pressing a button to get what they want,”.
Is this really a mistake? It’s a mistake if your man thinks that by stimulating only these two areas, he will get down to business faster.
The solutions: “Guide your man to the inside of the arms, the folds of the elbows and wrists, the dimples under the nape of the neck, the furrow of the buttocks, the flanks, the inside of your thighs, the back of the knees … “,
Why? “Since always, the man is afraid of the woman and much more in bed!”. His supreme fear is to humble yourself before you, to avoid that he wants to direct everything.”
Is this really a mistake? Of course! This behavior is problematic because “under the weight of directives, the woman does not dare to express her desires.”
The solutions: If your man uses and abuses his manhood, it is because he is not very sure of himself. Do not hesitate to talk to him, to reassure him about his qualities of man, husband, and lover. And above all, be firm! If you do not like his instructions, nothing forces you to accept that he is the boss.
Why? “When a man wants something, he always tries to get it,”
Is this really a mistake? Yes and no. Your man has the right to express his desires, and even to try to rally to his cause, not to make you feel guilty! “The woman can take the time to think, but she must refuse emotional blackmail,” says the specialist.
The Solutions: Explain in detail the reasons for your refusal. It will be easier for him to hear himself say “no”. You can also consider some concessions, if only once, and who knows, to let you seduced by his proposals!
Why? It is the incest taboo that is at stake. “His wife, the mother of his children, he respects,”. So to be able to have sex with this sweet and maternal woman, like his mother, he must diminish, humiliate.”
Is this really a mistake? Yes! “A woman who does not like it, even during a sexual game, should not accept it,” says the specialist. “When a woman wants love, it’s very traumatic to receive vulgarity.”
The Solutions: Learn another language. “In Indian eroticism, Kamasutra teaches man the spirituality of love,” says the sexologist. “The vulgarities are replaced by sweet words:
Why? “Many positions are material to awaken in man his fantasies of domination, his need to master”. But in his eyes, they are in no way attached to a desire for humiliation and do not lend themselves to mockery … It is on the contrary for him, very serious.
Is this really a mistake? Not really. “The positions of erotic art are very sensual and have nothing vulgar.” Very often the man looks at these full of desire, without wanting to hinder his companion.
The Solutions: When a position seems far-fetched or degrading, ask your companion what he thinks is exciting. You will see that he sees neither bad nor ridiculous.
Why? Often, the man lacks tenderness in his caresses … Under the effect of the excitation, it can become more abrupt. In particular, breasts can be a little rough.
Is this really a mistake? Not always. “This caress can be erotic … But be careful, in a certain context, when the excitement and excitement are a bit wild,”
The solutions: Difficult to ask a man to contain himself when he is plagued by excitement. If it bothers you and hurts you, manifests your refusal clearly! Otherwise, you can take advantage of his man’s bestial impulses to explore more tender caresses, in the form of massage.
Why? Because at the time of coitus, “the man feels such tension, such excitement at the level of his sex, he wants at all costs to be relieved,”
Is this really a mistake? Yes, because “most men are so eager to relieve this tension, they want to go too fast,” says the sexologist. Yet, the whole body of man is full of erogenous zones: torso, nipples, thighs, back, buttocks …
The solutions: Relax, even when his penis is moving … Do not hesitate to take the sex of your man in your hands and, without sudden movements, to bring him some kisses or some caresses … while you go through his whole body.
Why? The man goes to great lengths to sound sure of himself … But deep down, he knows that his manhood is always debatable. “Manliness remains a role he has learned and his partner can at any time question,
Is this really a mistake? Yes! “Women should not misrepresent that they like certain practices, because for a man this silence is interpreted as a right not to improve,” says the specialist.
The Solutions: Tell him the magic words. “A man can accept criticism if his wife does not shake his manhood.” Example: “It’s normal not to always do well” rather than “.
Why? Not only “his sex is at hand, but he has no secretion in everyday life, so in the eyes of man, his penis has a healthy appearance,” says the sexologist.
Is this really a mistake? The penis, especially when it is not circumcised, carries microbes. “So like women, men also need to pay attention to hygiene. Also, body odor, until 4 hours after a shower, is very aphrodisiac!”
The solutions: Do not hesitate to say to him with the delicacy that you like that it feels the clean one, that its perfume excites you.
Why? “Men are sexually educated with pornographic images since adolescence.
Is this really a mistake? Yes because pornography is the worst example to follow … “It shows women who enjoy fast and do not expect any feeling,” says the sexologist. “These images do not allow to develop the erotic imagination, and complicate the notion of performance.”
The solutions: Remember the reality, you do not have an orgasm in 10 minutes, you need foreplay, and you do not like violence because you are a woman, not an actress! “Women must insist on their need for quality and not on the amount of pleasure.”
Why? “A woman who takes initiatives, it is a woman who has desires, and that, it scares the man,”. Because with a big libido, you could cheat it or worse, have performance requirements!”
Is this really a mistake? Of course, you must be able to let go of your fantasies. But for their defense: “Men are victims of centuries of skull stuffing on their manhood.” Go smoothly.
The Solutions: Tell him what he is doing well. Your man rejects your libido because he is afraid of not being worthy. Reassure him that he is a good lover. “The man will feel confident.”
Why? Because the quick movements of his penis inside the vagina give him maximum pleasure in a minimum of effort and time. The man is always obsessed with mastering his erection: “He is afraid of losing it, so he rushes,” says the sexologist.
Is this really a mistake? Yes and no. Admittedly, the relationship is more pleasant when the man alternates the rhythm of back and forth, but in the case of erectile dysfunction, the fear of losing the erection justifies an excess of velocity.
The solutions: Teach him how to prolong his erection by controlling his ejaculation. He is then more free to vary his movements. Know that when he feels intense pleasure at the base of the penis, his orgasm is imminent.
Why? “For men, shaving is not always very pleasant,” Many men prefer to limit this gesture to the comfort of their skin – simply.
Is this really a mistake? It is good for a man to rest his skin from time to time, however, “even if the beard of the day can be pleasant for a woman, the risk of irritation persists,” says the sexologist.
The solutions: Give him some tips so that his shave is less painful: shave rather in the morning, ban the disposable razors, moisturize the skin after.
Why? “Men like to boast and seek the admiration of their companion. Exposing their past prowess “helps to guard against a possible performance failure”.
Is this really a mistake? Yes! This can have serious consequences for a woman … Loss of trust, depreciation. “That’s how some people start to simulate or reject reports.”
The solutions: To silence him! “Women must absolutely reply, say they are hurt.” Do not be afraid to tell him that you have also known other men, other experiences, but that you have the decency not to remind him!
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